The first time I ever discussed this very situation with S - just in passing - was sixteen years ago. I had just found out a few months before that he and my best friend at the time were gay.
S and I weren't close at that time. In fact, he intimidated me; he seemed super smart. He was the best accompanist at our university while he was still a student. But his partner was my best friend and I wasn't giving that up just because they inexplicably moved to Little Rock. My voice teacher told me not to be stupid. They're gay. But that idea was completely out of my realm of thinking. I'd never considered that the people at our small Christian school could be gay!! I finally got up the courage to ask J and he was honest with me. I was stunned and didn't talk to them again for probably two or three months. When school started again, a friend and I drove down to LR to visit them. Because she was there and they weren't out to her, they gave a stellar straight performance that had me thoroughly confused by the time we drove back to school. I remember calling them and asking, you are gay, right? J laughed and said they'd had lots of practice hiding it.
The next time I drove down to visit I was by myself. They were still very careful in front of me. Each time I'd visit things would get a little more relaxed but I think it was still over a year before they did anything so scandalous as to kiss when I was in the room.
S has always been one for big gestures. He likes expensive things: food, wine, electronic equipment, etc... He wants the best and likes to celebrate. He also likes to have big discussions over dinner. There we were in a nice - well, college nice - restaurant and he decided we were going to deal with the elephant in the room. He turns to me and wants to know what questions I might have and I'm mortified that we're discussing this in public!! (It had only been six months or so, I had changed some or I wouldn't have been at that table... just not very much.)
Then in the parking lot, teasing me, S asked if I'd have their baby when they decided they wanted one. Fourteen years later I turned the question back on him.
Two years later and my fingers are crossed. I'm aware a lot could still go wrong. But today all indications are still positive.
By the way, a couple of times I've had someone from Germany reading my blog...
It's a bit strange to think of my thoughts being read by someone in Europe.
My HS German is really poor - I took it more to get the diction down for the Lieder - and I do realize you probably speak English more properly than we do here... But I want to try:
Um mein Freund aus Deutschland:
Willkommen und vielen Dank
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